Friday nite there was a party at my house. This house is so wonderful for parties. The house seems to “feed” on the energy of many people in it and then give it back in a most pleasant and delightful way. (Does that sound Mary Poppin-ish? LOL)
There were maybe 20 people here (or less). There were scenes, fucking (yeah!) and a collaring ceremony. It was a very loving evening among friends. These friends are the best and when things get bad they always seems to be the ones to give me what i need in one form or another. There were a few missing, but the love and caring for one another was here and extended out to those that were absent.
i have been in a frenzy state and fighting it off and struggling with the need for an energy release through pain. Finally, the opportunity presented itself and i was given some much needed “pain therapy.” i was handcuffed up on the red frame. i was flogged, caned, punched and had pressure points tortured. The single tail finished it off. i didn’t scream, which shows just how much i needed this… screams come with an inability to assimilate the pain. Instead, this time, i growled and made noises that others interpreted as sounding like orgasms, but truly, i was not feeling sexual energy…well, not in my crotch anyway. i was beaten with a heavy flogger that felt like it was scrambling my brains. i was punched bare fisted on the shoulders, back and ass. i was growling and releasing energy from the depths of my being until i pretty much collapsed into the state of doneness. i laid on the floor and recuperated, which didn’t really take long.
Then, a little later, i was given the pain/pleasure of the violet wand. There was very sharp pain of the knife attachment, the intermittent sting of the mylar flogger and other attachments. I requested to feel it on the bottom of my feet which took the strongest attachment (a metal rod) before i could feel it. It was cool, but strange at the same time. It was a fun ending to that scene. My head was again spinning, and i released a lot of pent up energy and also enjoyed the recovery time.
i was very thankful and appreciative to those who used me and to those who shared them. i know that they don’t “have” to and i know that they don’t “owe” me anything so it truly is the value of friendship and love that prevails in these situations.
i have felt much more restful and at ease, although i am not really where i want to be yet. Hopefully by the end of next weekend i will be since i have several things lined up for this week. But with as long as it has been with a lack of depth of feeling, it’s going to take an “overload” so to speak to truly release all that is hanging around inside of me.
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May 7th, 2007 at 9:11 am
So glad to hear that you got some of what you needed!! you’ve waited a LONG time and really earned the play that you got this time around! i hope the rest of this week brings you even closer to the Peace you need to feel within right now.
{{hugzzz}}
Much Love!!